Photos kill me.
Okay, I'll be intensely honest and say that I hate facebook so much right now, I hate seeing everyone having the time of their lives, I hate seeing pictures of all of them having so much fun, and I especially hate the way I feel so so so jealous whenever I see pictures of all of them, especially when it has
him in them.
Why does he have to be so cute?
Why the heck do I keep looking at pictures of them when I know it kills a little bit of me everytime?
Why why why why why?!
I feel like crying right now. I really do. I want to know so many things now. I want what I can't have. I always do. I want to forget, but I want to remember. I want to let go of all of them, to just wipe my memory of every happy time I ever had with them, especially whatever close moment I had with him.
I want them to be happy.
I want them to move on with their life.
They're doing exactly that.
So why do I wish that they somehow hurt so much that they might feel just a little bit of what I was feeling?
Why do I want them to miss me as much as I miss them?
Because I'm sick of always being the good person, the one who always communicates first but never gets a reply. I want to just cut it off entirely.
But I know that somehow I can't.
I want to know why it's the people who I hardly talk to who put a smile on my face.
Labels: m; confuzzled, m; emo, m; sad