When You're Gone
March 24, 2009 9:35:00 PM
Song Choice: When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne
When Youre Gone - Avril Lavigne
Most people would probs know this song because they played it on the radio so so so many times in 2007. When I was still in Malaysia. When everything was happy happy happy. When the pieces of my heart don't miss you as much as I do now.
*
I've been reading my old diaries. Yes. I still have them here (because I brought them, obviously) and the saddest ever entries are every single one of them. I never ever ever realised how much I actually miss those little people in that little country most people have never heard of. Most people have never heard of.
It's weird to think that here people ask "Malaysia? where's that?" when in Malaysia people go, OH Australia. That Place. It's weird that I've never really thought of Malaysia as an unknown country, unknown countries are countries like... timbuktu. If there was ever a place named timbuktu.
*
Form 2 KA. Every Wednesday. Wen Yi, Sonia, Li Shiann, Melissa, Sarah, Sabi, Loong Chern, Manreena and I troop over to 2 Murni.
Where Darren and Ian always are.
I always loved KA.
Because I loved just hanging around on the floor of the back of 2M, listening to Darren Hor arguing with that tall annoying chinese girl he hated, watching Darren Chow and Ian tie my shoelaces together and then smacking them when I couldn't get them back out, rubbing Sarah's leg when she got cramp that day, just basically able to be myself in school.
Not the quiet nerdy girl that most people here see.
Me.
Me and a whole bunch of my entourage who I was pretty sure loved me but now couldn't be bothered about me. Where I could sit with him and laugh and it wouldnt look suspicious because everyone was doing the same thing.
Only they weren't the one silently loving others.
I'd love to know what everyone does these days. But no one ever talks to me, no one ever emails me, no one ever sends me letters, I'm the one who always has to do all that.
I'm the one who starts it and ends it.
*
Oh look, isn't that whats-her-name, she was there for me when I nearly got suspended or even expelled when I joked with that teacher and he told me that what I said was rude and disgusting, she was the one who always helped me with my maths when I didn't get it, she talked to me and cheered me up when I was in the deepets dumps, she included the ones who didn't feel included and weren't being included, she made up stories about all of us and made them the nicest stories in the world, she sat back-to-back with me when it was her last week of school with me and she felt my warmth through my shirt, she made birthday cards for me even when she wasn't in the same country anymore.
She was always smiling. She was always laughing. She was always ready to help, ready to cheer someone up even when she was crying inside, dying inside.
What's her name again? When was her birthday again? Where's she gone?
When's she coming back?
Is she ever coming back?
I miss her.
I want her back.
She is coming back, right?
When Youre Gone - Avril Lavigne
Most people would probs know this song because they played it on the radio so so so many times in 2007. When I was still in Malaysia. When everything was happy happy happy. When the pieces of my heart don't miss you as much as I do now.
*
I've been reading my old diaries. Yes. I still have them here (because I brought them, obviously) and the saddest ever entries are every single one of them. I never ever ever realised how much I actually miss those little people in that little country most people have never heard of. Most people have never heard of.
It's weird to think that here people ask "Malaysia? where's that?" when in Malaysia people go, OH Australia. That Place. It's weird that I've never really thought of Malaysia as an unknown country, unknown countries are countries like... timbuktu. If there was ever a place named timbuktu.
*
Form 2 KA. Every Wednesday. Wen Yi, Sonia, Li Shiann, Melissa, Sarah, Sabi, Loong Chern, Manreena and I troop over to 2 Murni.
Where Darren and Ian always are.
I always loved KA.
Because I loved just hanging around on the floor of the back of 2M, listening to Darren Hor arguing with that tall annoying chinese girl he hated, watching Darren Chow and Ian tie my shoelaces together and then smacking them when I couldn't get them back out, rubbing Sarah's leg when she got cramp that day, just basically able to be myself in school.
Not the quiet nerdy girl that most people here see.
Me.
Me and a whole bunch of my entourage who I was pretty sure loved me but now couldn't be bothered about me. Where I could sit with him and laugh and it wouldnt look suspicious because everyone was doing the same thing.
Only they weren't the one silently loving others.
I'd love to know what everyone does these days. But no one ever talks to me, no one ever emails me, no one ever sends me letters, I'm the one who always has to do all that.
I'm the one who starts it and ends it.
*
Oh look, isn't that whats-her-name, she was there for me when I nearly got suspended or even expelled when I joked with that teacher and he told me that what I said was rude and disgusting, she was the one who always helped me with my maths when I didn't get it, she talked to me and cheered me up when I was in the deepets dumps, she included the ones who didn't feel included and weren't being included, she made up stories about all of us and made them the nicest stories in the world, she sat back-to-back with me when it was her last week of school with me and she felt my warmth through my shirt, she made birthday cards for me even when she wasn't in the same country anymore.
She was always smiling. She was always laughing. She was always ready to help, ready to cheer someone up even when she was crying inside, dying inside.
What's her name again? When was her birthday again? Where's she gone?
When's she coming back?
Is she ever coming back?
I miss her.
I want her back.
She is coming back, right?